A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet.
His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off.
Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating.
“how come you are sweating?” he asks.
The parrot replies “Do you know how f*cking hard it is to open the legs
of a frozen chicken?”
Eleven people were hanging on a rope,
under a helicopter:
10 men and 1 woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all,
so they decided that one had to leave,
because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren’t able to choose that person,
until the woman gave a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope,
because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything
for her husband and kids or for men in general, and
was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.
As soon as she finished her speech,
all the men started clapping.